Day 5- Suicide

Day 5- A Time I thought About Ending My Own Life

Huh. Well, that's a personal and awkward question. I honestly have to think about it, because depression is sort of constant at this point. Even with the awesomeness thats going on right now. It has a lot to do with the post pregnancy hormones (fuck my life) and my blinding hatred of my body (kind of a temporary on and off thing).

There was a brief time where I considered it. Or rather, times. Every time I got caught with a certain someone, I considered ending it in different ways. I could have literally done it or I could have run away from that life. I don't regret the choices I made.

The only other time I truly considered it was when I found out I was pregnant. The terror was so visceral, that I thought I was done. Obviously I'm still here. I have a picture of the sky that day. It was terribly lonely, but exceptionally peaceful. I believe that I made the right choice that day too.

In all honesty, I don't believe suicide is a viable way to die. Life can be a terrible, terrible place but the wheel turns and the pendulum swings, so please don't end it.

Day 4- Religion

Discuss my views on religion.

This is a hard one. I had a really interesting discussion about God and zero point energy yesterday. It was also about Tesla so....

Here you go!

Any way, I am a Roman Catholic, plain and simple.

With a couple other things.

BUT, that I don't discuss.

The End

Day 3- Drugs and Alcohol

Discuss my views of drugs and alcohol.

Sooo...at my brothers school, they are teaching him that alcohol is a drug. I find that interesting.

Personal views on drugs first. As far as illegal substances go, I've only seen someone on pot and their lack of control was pretty frightening at the time. People consider m*rijuana (changing the name to protect the me from pot searching people) to be the most harmless drug, however, if it contributes to people's inability to control themselves, which is what I've seen, than it is indeed dangerous. Driving while under the influence of pot is dangerous. I had a boyfriend total his car while driving under the influence. Not cool. Pretty scary, actually.

I've seen firsthand effects of cocaine on the lymbic system. I'm not a fan of drugs. I hatehatehatehate them. A lot.

Alcohol...I guess I can say that I don't understand what pleasure people derive from drinking. I'm not someone who wants to drink to forget, I don't like the feeling of being buzzed and the taste makes my head ache and my stomach feel nauseous. I have only had a few that I consider even remotely good tasting, but in the end, I derive the same pleasure from drinking a fruity drink that I do from deriving a coke... except that I don't pay near as much for a coke, nor can I get drunk and run people or myself off the road when I drink one! Perks all around....

Day 2- Where I want to be in 10 years.

At first I thought, I want to be a Rogue slayer.

And then I thought I could just be the Slayer.

But then I thought, I could be Death! And never die! Oh win.
But then I rewatched Buffy and decided to be Willow the Witch instead.

Damn, it's gonna take a while to be a nurse.....

Day 1

Discuss your current relationship.

My relationship. Well, I'm engaged to a great guy and we have twins.

Because we're a young, unmarried couple with 2 children, we have problems. Although, quite honestly, I think that if we didn't have problem, it'd be pretty weird.

The best example I can think of of what kind of couple we are is that last night we watched Sweeney Todd and played Super Mario Smash Bros. and Mario Kart on the Wii. We laugh hysterically and my profanity was increased by how utterly terrible I was on the Wii.

Our relationship, while incredibly difficult because of various self imposed problems/blessings (living with parents, TWINS, lack of a job (me) etc), however, together, we are perfect. And by perfect, I mean we fight like cats and dogs, make up like best friends and support each other well. He's the first person I call with good or bad news and my last call at night. He busts his ass for me and the kids. When he isn't at work, he's at my house, helping with the kids. He's a great daddy.
Before we had kids, he was my best friend. He was my new years kiss for three years running, even though we'd only dated a year and a half. He proved my gut instinct right. He grew a beard for me. My Lord of the Rings obsession and his Star Wars love gives us great chemistry. As far as music goes, our only common ground is what musicals we like...0.o

He is the handsomest guy in the world. He went to the beach with me. The first time we dated he called my parents and talked to them (which thoroughly cemented in my head what a different guy he was). He makes me want to be a better person. He also puts up with my swearing, helps me be neater, washes the dishes and I can't WAIT to marry him....Only 565 days to go !

Any hoo, as things go, especially considering the difficult circumstances, we have a great relationship. :)

These photos are courtesy of Shutterkey Photography.

Please God, Let Me Do This....

Mad Men

Dear Mad Men,

I'm only a little while in to the second season and I'm ashamed to admit that I'm hooked. As a part-time feminist, I'm incredibly ashamed to say that you are so damn PRETTY that I almost find myself overlooking the misogynistic bullshit that pervades most of you. Also, Don Draper and Joan (Christina Hedricks), as well as Betty (January Jones) are just such eye candy that I can't look away. Damn it.

I think Don is an asshole, but at the same time he plays it perfectly so you feel horribly for him at the same time. How is it possible to like a character that drinks, smokes and sleeps with TONS of women constantly? While married? What the eff?

Now Peggy....hmm. I like her best, I think. She represents the ideal, kind of. She messes up, messes around, a little, but she's sassy and doesn't apologize when she doesn't really care. She's a lapsed catholic and she smart and funny. But mostly smart. I think she's pretty. She doesn't give a shit what most girls think about her but she manages to truly care for Don Draper without getting sexual.

Joan is a hellcat. Her attitude is what I aspired to have during high school and I'm ashamed to admit it still pops out every once in a while when I'm angry or tired or talking to my fiance. She's gorgeous and extremely snarky and yummy.

Anyway, please keep this show going because I've developed crushes on most of the characters. And the clothes. OH GAWD, THE CLOTHES. And the shoes. And the undies. :)

Love,

Megan

ps. Grey's Anatomy came on this thursday and blew. my. mind.