Terrified.

“I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand ; the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep; there are no words for that.”

― Brian Andreas, Story People: Selected Stories & Drawings of Brian Andreas

Terrifying moments in my life include
the times I have almost been caught
the times I have been caught,
changing into a leather barbarian outfit
suspecting I was pregnant,
waiting for the test to be done
2 minutes until my life is changed,
one way or another,
when the doctor came in and said
yes you are pregnant
when they said,
oh my gosh
and waited a full damn minute
to tell me it meant twins.
when I had the spinal epidural
and it hurt
but then I couldn't move
when they opened me up on the table
and my chest started to hurt
no one told me what was going on
and I was terrified.
When i first saw my twins
life was changed
radically and terrifying.
and everytime they fall
it scares me
but yesterday
when my husband went to the hospital
because we were afraid it was a stroke
that was terrifying
because I have no idea what
I'd do without him
besides give up.
glad it turned out okay
but still