If I die Young

If I die young

someone please delete my browser history
without looking through it.
and maybe after the funeral
because I know how people are
and me saying not to look through it
won't stop anyone and I'd rather not have all
my ugly secrets paraded out until I'm already in
the ground or scattered amidst the roses or water or whatever
because by then, I'll be gone and I won't have to listen
to whatever you will be saying about what horrible things
were on my internet!

Christ, that was incredibly morbid way to start anything.
Thankfully, this day has taken a complete turnaround
and where I was afraid of the ending of it, now I welcome the
progression. It is going to get better- I don't feel very sick.
Life can be hard, but people are willing to help you, to
work with you, to make life just a little less hard so you can
learn effectively and not be a zombiebitch to your family. I really
really appreciate that. Because I want to impress and be my best
and help people back. I just can't do that if I'm destroying ALL of my
support systems in the process. But seriously, kind people allow me to
try to be Superman. And I am so so thankful for that.
Even if my superman is closer to Hellboy.
Full of snark
but loves the animals.
Do-able.
I can do this.
I can play the game and
win it.
And still be me.