150th Post

In honor of this being my 150th post, which is crazy, I'm going to write something that will probably make me lose sleep for a while. I'll be writing about my top fears and what I believe is the underlying causes and whatnots of them. I struggle with them still these days.

So to start off,
what inspired me to write about this was a recent movie I saw called Sinister. I have the ability to push back most thing that scare me but this movie in particular has been really REALLY chapping my ass. In any case, it definitely brought some of my more primeval fears to the surface.

To begin with, a striking white face with dark deep set eyes is
always a terrifying sight for me. Since the main villain fits this exact description,
I had a horrible time watching the movie without screaming every two seconds
and hiding my face the whole time. Oh, yeah. Super brave.

In line with this, I find water to be fascinating and terrifying at the same time. I love how water feels, I'm very comfortable being under the water for long periods of time, however I have limits. I love pools and most clear bodies of water. I feel very very uncomfortable around dark or murky bodies of water. I've had two near drowning experience, both of which made me very afraid to be in a pool with other people. It takes a lot of trust for me to feel okay being near to anyone while in a pool. I can generally keep my cool around pools, at least outwardly. But walking by a lake makes me feel shaky and afraid.

In relation to this, I am deathly afraid of sharks and whales. There are exceptions, which are pretty weird, as I love killer whales but am afraid of blue whales. I think all this results from the damn Monstro Blue Whale Thing from Pinnochio when I was little. Horrifying and horrified. I hate things with dark eyes and big pointy teeth and wide open mouths. I'm writing this during the day so I don't have to freak out the rest of the night.

I am afraid of clowns. This has been real since I was around three. I have always known what the Pennywise Tim Curry clown looks like, but I only saw the movie this year. I screamed a lot until he turned into a spider. I loved the book. It is fantastic but I am terrified whenever I read it.

Darkness is frightening to me but I find that I am able to walk around in it quite well. I have some anxiety but it isn't too bad.

150 posts. Now, onward to greater things!