Secrets

Secret-

I'm a three month kinda girl. Not something I am proud of. But that's the way it's been. You know the seven year itch? I'm the three month itch. I don't have tolerance for long relationships, simply because I don't have tolerance for bullshit. People tend to get comfortable around three months and start to show their true colors. I am not afraid to say no to that. I want the real man, I want the truth of a man and if you haven't been real since around the first week, you aren't the one for me.

Random note # 1- I just saw a squishable Cthulu on effing facebook. Must have! Will go with my stuffed evil undead mini warlock and my blanket of my evil undead warlock. OH MY GOD I MUST CHECK LOOKING FOR GROUP.

Back to the main thought here, I've been in this relationship for a year and a half. Not too long says you? VERY VERY long says I. And that's not really the point. The point is, I've always wanted my life to move slowly and steadily toward any series of goals. And now I just feel like I want to head at a dead run towards marriage, something I never thought I'd feel anything close to.

You see, there's this guy. I am laughing at this word 'guy', because if you went solely by his facial hair, he would be a lumberjack. Seriously. The facial hair is really REALLY manly and now that I'm thinking about it, introducing you to him via facial hair isn't the most realistic viewpoint.

He is kind and sweet and actually has an opinion. Honestly, this is embarrassing, but I don't DO guys with opinions! And if they do, I don't notice it that well. And now I have to. Which is cool and all, but took a WHOLE HELL of a lot of getting used to.

My man is fucking McDreamy. By which to say, he and his girlfriend in high school were the power couple. Like, Addison and Derek. Disturbingly perfect and whatnot. She was even a redhead :). Minus the whole cheating deal....huh. But like McDreamy, mine is kind and friendly and he even has perfect hair, bwahaha. And he has the posse of girls that like him.

Fortunately, I appear to be the Meredith Grey of this equation. I was never part of a power couple. I was pretty enough that the hot guys of my school looked at me but the guys I dated were unconventional and not cool and everyone knew it. I was angry and my skirts weren't pressed neatly and I cried messily and angrily in public places. After a bad breakup, I skipped school for 2 days. My eyeliner was always on in a no makeup school and my hair was too damn long and I hung out with a strange combination of basketball players and unconventional asians. When I was angry, I yelled. I threw a desk at a guy and got away with it. I broke a nice guys heart. Several, actually, but the niceness of my various boyfriends is always up for debate. NOT. COOL. But fun.

And now I'm engaged to a McDreamy and it's a little weird. Now, this is not to say he's perfect. He is neat to my messy and he can be a jackass, like any guy. He loooves his PS3 (to my XBox. He once saw my friend push me while we were skating and I fell and broke my wrist. He has seen me sob for two days straight.

My therapist says I was being anti-establishment with the way I was in high school. So now I'm anti-anti establishment.

On to the next post, because I'm having a hard time reconnecting with what I was talking about in the first place....girl