"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Sometimes, Awesome Sauce

The new song by Daughtry called September is just awesome. I love Daughtry, mostly cause I can actually listen to the music with my little brother, who really REALLY likes Nickelback but it's pretty hard finding songs that are age-appropriate for him. And as much as I would like (and find it fairly hysterical) that he sings Taylor Swift as well as I can, I'd hate for our resident almost eleven year old to lose a man card over something like that. On occasion, I try to be nice instead of laughing hysterically at other people's misfortunes. And yes, I am being sarcastic. Kind of.

A Very Potter Sequel is now on youtube. It is the sequel to A Very Potter Musical and is, by definition, “totally awesome” but not as flowy as the first one. That’s tragic, really, because they are both damn funny, but the sequel is somewhat choppy and has the sad lack of a Voldemort who is gay and tap dances and says things like “BRING ME SOME NASONEX, YOU SWINE!” They did, however, manage to bring in some sweet elements to the sequel, some moments that made you go ‘aww’ and want to give certain characters *coughSNAPEcough* a hug. Umbridge the she-male gave me the creeps, but she would have made an AWESOME drill instructor. Draco is his normal, hysterical rolling self. Cho Chang is still a Texas sized slutbag. Harry Potter calls himself a douchebag, which was definitely a highlight, Lucius Malfoy stole the show and the whole thing makes me want to give up on Netflix and go watch the first one again. And then the second one again. It is that good.

I have a large book bag of books to read. I started one called the Bitch Posse and it promises to be EXACTLY as depressing as the title sounds. Lots of sex and violence. I also have The Devil In The White City and a Warhammer 40k novel and a book by Tamora Pierce called Trickster’s Choice, which I’ve already read, but it was too damn good, so now I have to read it again.

I recently read Inna May’s Guide to Childbirth and several pictures later , I was vastly disturbed. No woman REALLY smiles when she’s in labor. Right? Right?! Lots of 70’s nudity of the female variety, which I was NOT all that impressed with (ahhh the vast bushels of pubic hair), but some really interesting stories. Definitely cemented my belief that an attitude and a change in environment can truly be effective in labor and delivery. I just think it’s a lot easier to panic and because of panicking, to tense up, which definitely does not ease the labor, when you perceive that you are in a place that is cold and clinical and not warm and welcoming. Just in case you were wondering what was currently on my mind.

What’s also on my mind is what an excellent show Veronica Mars is. I’m such a nerd, but I looove it! Nice and gritty and angry show. Excellent. Much better than Dexter, which was good, but sadly gave me nightmares, really really intense ones, after only two episodes. I will definitely be sticking with Veronica. Lovely. And exceptionally sarcastic. She has a voice in her head that is almost as angry and sarcastic as me. Gives me warm fuzzies like you wouldn’t believe.

Ooooo I got 12 books for 99 cents each at Goodwill today. Made of awesome sauce. Which definitely begs the question, what exactly is awesome sauce made of?

More Later

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

One Year Anniversary

“I will show you a love potion without drug or herb, or any witch's spell; if you wish to be loved, love” ~ Hecato

Hecato was a Stoic philosopher from around 100 BC. I love this quote.

This is the one year anniversary of Mike and I. I’m not sure how grammatically accurate that last sentence is, but that’s how I would describe it. I’ve never actually lasted a full year with someone. I either broke up with the same person every six months or so, or we only lasted around three months, so to date someone a full year is completely beyond anything I’ve ever done. It blows my mind that I’m allowed to be happy for so long or that it could continue.

So, a recap. Memories that make me smile and remember….

• Our first kiss. Both of them. Which happened to be at church. “Magical”, as made fun of by both of us. Me being very impatient. “Can I kiss you?”
• The first time I went to Renfest with him, dressed as a golden princess. “DO YOU WANNA BUY A PICKLE???”
• The second time we went to Renfest, laughing as my dad got TOTALLY decked out in pirate wear, taking a sip of strawberry daiquiri and ending up all sleepy in the grass (me, not him)
• And the last time we went to Renfest, which was cold and rainy and amazing and awesome.
• Later that night, being angry and hysterical, and knowing that it wasn’t the end and that I could count on you, regardless of circumstance.
• First date. Which is a toss up between ice skating and Baker Street Pub. It always gets me how easily we stepped back into dating, into trust and ease and friendship, because I always thought I’d never be able to do that with you. That was at Baker Street. The ice skating thing was funny, because I started off that date angry at a mutual friend and finished it at like eleven? Twelve? With the longest hug I’d ever had from a guy who I barely knew. And then barely sleeping that night because my friend and I were up all night texting you and analyzing what your texts meant. I’m not proud of this. I also think you witnessed the loudest scream ever, provided by my friend Catherine during I am Legend.
• Glaring at Slusser that particular mass. It was a funny and awkward re-start.
• You remembering that getting into college meant a huge deal to me. And being excited for me.
• First beach trip and you coming with us and our photos of incriminating evidence.
• Halloween and a very sexy gangster suit.
• Levitating this week. It was amazing, apparently.
• Kisses on New Years.
• When we found out about the twins. And a semi-terrifying Olive Garden lunch.
• The first day of New years.
• All the “Maridell weekends”.
• Watching the Guild and laughing hysterically. However, I do not currently, nor will I ever want to date your Avatar, even if they are a star, got it?
• Any time I’ve ever wanted to kill you for calling me Meggy-poo.
• When you gave me Communion while I was in choir and I turned bright red.
• Whenever I call you “Plant” and people look at me like I’m crazy for calling you that.
• All of our moments of intense perversity. Even if you do like to blame them all on me.
• The ongoing quest of “what will I DO with my life?” Which helped jump start the whole talking on facebook thing.
• All of our naps are awesome.
• Going paintballing for your party, finally. Which was awesome and amazing and very very muddy.
• August 4th, and the first time you said “I love you.” And for hanging around for the rest of that day.
• Any time I freak out for a while over some event and then end up having an awesome time, mostly on account of you calming me down and making sure I don’t set the place on fire.
• Any time we’ve ever laid down next to each other and just talked.
• Any time you’ve had to force me to say something, because you could tell just thinking about it was bothering the hell out of me.
• Dancing in my kitchen that first time.
• The vanguard.
• That awkward time I first met you with Sheffield. And that awkward time I talked to you with Slusser at mass.
• Being my best friend during the easy times and the hard times. Even the ones that included my crying on the phone and in person, and when I’ve been angry at you.
• Being the calmer one when we argue and not being afraid of me, or afraid to tell me to shut up.
• For listening to me, even when I’m fucking crazy. Which is almost all the time.
• For being honest with me, even with the hard stuff.
• Optimus Prime and Aragorn. ‘nuff said.
• “The laundry is evil”
• The whole of last week.

• I love you and being together is amazing-the good and the bad, the hard and the easy.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

What I've Learned So Far

I am terrible at waiting for anything. Especially phone calls for jobs. Those could made me even crazier than I’ve ever been.

The sound of a fiddle, violin and bagpipes can still make me tear up.

Standing in the pouring rain is like going to confession. I feel cold and wet and clean at the end of both. Better than a two hour shower. And my hair smells like rain for hours after.

I miss my animals like crazy. Especially my cat. I want kitten kisses, dammit!

I still sing in the shower. Loudly. And my range is getting back to normal. I need to start swimming more regularly or singing more regularly. Something to improve my breathing.

Ground beef and potatoes are the still the best damn comfort food ever. Ravioli takes a close second, which I never would have guessed in a million years, but OH MY GOD it is amazing. It comes with spicy sausage and freaking LOBSTER and mushrooms and it’s crazy that something can taste that good and be legal. Seriously.

I can still write, even without my infamous red journal. And my “sexy” pen. God, that is the stupidest phrase ever, but it sticks. It was one of the first that ever stuck in my head.

I can only make people laugh when they want to laugh. If they insist on a stoic silence, there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. And that isn’t my fault. My ability to laugh easily simply does not affect some people. And that’s okay. I can still make people smile, and do on a daily basis.

Even when you love a person, they can still irritate the fuck out of you if you see them on a daily basis. Which actually explains why my parents, my brother and I clash. So, I’ve got to remember this when I go back to my house. And be more forgiving. And also while I’m at this house. To be less touchy and more forgiving.

I still find helping people an honorable career. I would rather drop dead than do some jobs, but I still think it’s cool that people can work in banks or anywhere they need to. It’s hard being picking in this economy. But what the hell, helping people, being a servant doesn’t go out of style. Ever.

Julia Child was a beast. End of story.

If you can gross out your best guy friend with two words, be proud. It’s been four years and I have learned well.

Anastasia still has a badass soundtrack. It never gets old and that’s just kind of mind blowing.

A friend is NOT a friend when all he does is want what’s best for him. He’s a jackass. And that’s okay, if you want to put up with it, but it’s up to you to deal. So you can either choose to deal or you can kill it.

Alone time with my mom is a precious gift. But not one I should beat up my brother for, probably. But seriously, that fifteen minutes that we get where we are on the phone or just hanging out a little bit, especially this day-date I’m going on with her tomorrow and we make each other laugh are what keeps me going in the midst of intense stress. And I feel so blessed that we have that. It’s special and taking it for granted would be such a mistake.

Also, always knock before going to the restroom.

Monday, July 5, 2010

And day 3.....

There is something disconcerting about being able to watch your belly move of its own accord. It may seem like a great and wondrous miracle to all those around you, but to me, it just feels off. That’s not to say I’m a mean and horrible person who doesn’t appreciate the miracle of human life, but rather that I’m a scared young mother who has seen way too many science fiction-y movies and read way too many books and would rather her tummy move only when she wants it to. Which will probably characterize a lot of her motherhood….DO WHAT I TELL YOU, NOT WHAT YOU WANT!

I’m tired. And I hurt. A lot. Which is a part of pregnancy, sure, and even more a part when you are having multiples but I’m tired of my rib cage and my back hurting. It makes it hard to sleep and hard to stay awake and it just isn’t the fun part of pregnancy. I’m not really even sure that there IS a fun part of pregnancy, because all I can think of that might fit into that category is my mass consumption of flaming hot cheetoes and coca-cola. But the other stuff isn’t bad. It’s just kind of ouch. And by kind of, I mean a lot. And then when I do something stupid, like get a massive sunburn on my back, I can’t sleep on my front. Um, wow, that was NOT smart. Lack of sunscreen is not a positive thing. It turns your back bright red and makes it impossible to sleep. Or put on aloe vera by yourself, which makes me feel like a complete wuss.

I think, sometimes, that I’d do better as a solitary person. I love people, don’t get me wrong, but these days, I just don’t feel connected to anyone. I get angry a lot over things that should be buried in the past and that isn’t fair to whomever I am projecting it at. I’m still at my boyfriend’s house and I miss my family. Which is weird, because I get frustrated and angry with them and they invade my personal space but they are my family and I miss them. I hate not being able to be around them on a daily basis.

I’m back to watching Grey’s Anatomy. Again. I’m not proud but it is horribly addictive and…you know what? People like me shouldn’t be allowed to watch shows like that. They never end and then you end up addicted for the rest of your life to a show that’s actually excellent but is something you can’t watch all the time. Why do they make shows like this??? They destroy my sanity.

I haven’t waited by the phone in years. I stopped doing that when I stopped dating random guys who had no real investment in my life. I hate waiting by the phone. Nothing makes me feel more like a waste of God-given space. So why is it, that even though I know I’ve gotten this damn job, I’m still waiting by the damn phone to see if I’ll be working this week. I need to work. I need money. I need to stop feeling so damn lazy and just go to fucking work. May I please please please go to work now?

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Day One

Day 1 of living outside my house. It’s kind of disconcerting, really. I went to go visit my house and my family and I felt just exactly like that, a visitor. It’s hard to feel accountable to anyone at this point. I’m thankful to my boyfriend and his parents for letting me come stay at their house.

I now feel homeless. Now THAT’S a fun feeling. Pardon me, gentle readers, for sounding like an emo little girl today. Bear with me for a few more lines and I promise to be back to my normal sarcastic perky self. But it’s been raining for almost 3 days, I can’t go home for at least a week, maybe two weeks and I’m all super sad and whatnot. And pregnant, so I have an excuse to be all snarky and whatnot, but I don’t like it. I’m going to a party tonight so please, Lord, help me be a nice and friendly person tonight. Help me be a channel of Your peace.

On a lighter note, I ACED a job interview. Kicked its ass. Now please, please please call me back! It was fun though, I love interviews. I think I’m supposed to be afraid of interviews, but I find them fun and kind of challenging. I’m dying to go to work there. I’m dying to WORK. Period. Want off bed and into work.

More to come.