"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

"I didn't know you were gonna be at that bar when I walked in
Til I walked in
I looked up, saw your face, turned around
And I walked back out again
Then I thought there's too much that we shared

So I made myself get ahold of myself
And walked back in
And went right up to you 
I could feel you were caught off gaurd
Neither one of us knew just what to do 
So I said 
How's it been, been a while
Tell me how's your Mama
You said Good, you can sit down if you wanna
I said I was just thinkin bout Oklahoma 
The wild roller coaster ride we had that summer
Before we knew it we were on our 2nd glass of wine
Sittin there talkin just like

we had never said good bye"

Clay Walker 

Saturday, December 28, 2013


He looked at me
and said
"sometimes, you scare me
with the way you can act so easily"
and i thought about it for a while

the basic rules
are that acting is either for survival
or for hobby
but not both
because once you do it for both
you may forget what the mask is for
and the things you so painstakingly made
the mask you painted and cut to fit your face perfectly
may become your face

and to be perfectly honest
(which I never am)
I don't know which of me I prefer more

morning thoughts

you reach out and touch me
or you say "I love you " casually
I feel like I'm burning.
Please stop
but don't ever stop.

I find myself secretly terrified
little ones
that the only way I'll appreciate you
is when you are not by my side
because when you are here I am frustrated
and angry. But when you aren't here,
I am so very sad and lonely.
These are not new feelings to cope with
but new tiny people that these feelings are
about and what do I do with them?

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Thoughts in the dark

"Lost between Elvis and suicide
ever since the day we died
well, I've got nothing left to lose.
After Jesus and rock n' roll
couldn't save my immortal soul
well, I've got nothing left to lose."
~The Pretty Reckless

in what feels like the
oddest moments of my life
I think of taking your face in my hands
and kissing you, because you need so much
more love than you have or that I could ever
give you.

Only your face though
even in my darkest dreams
never do I bow down and worship you
And I'm never sure if it is because I think
I am too good for you
or if it is because I know
you are too good for me.