masks

He looked at me
and said
"sometimes, you scare me
with the way you can act so easily"
and i thought about it for a while

the basic rules
are that acting is either for survival
or for hobby
but not both
because once you do it for both
you may forget what the mask is for
and the things you so painstakingly made
the mask you painted and cut to fit your face perfectly
may become your face

and to be perfectly honest
(which I never am)
I don't know which of me I prefer more

Changin'

What if
instead of telling stories
my gift is telling lies?

My cat tells me
in purrs and loud howls
to give to her
ALL of my lap
not part, not just a leg
but ALL of the lap. Preferably with
both hands petting and scratching and lots
of kisses. She lets me touch her paws, all of them
and rub her chest and belly with impunity
She loves playing with her toys and
cuddling in bed and on the couch and everywhere.

These days I feel so very
pleasant, with wonderful cordiality towards
a great deal of man and woman kind. My
irritation is still easily stirred, but I am smiling more
easily now and getting along more with others and
I am significantly less sad.

The people here
know my name and laugh with me
and wave when I go by
and even though my instinct is to be unfriendly and afraid
I smile and wave back
and even come in sometimes and say hello

And remember what I was like
and who I want to be.