"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Monday, August 30, 2010

Day Three- To My Parents

Dear Parents,

A new era has arrived, kind of. I am the daughter and the soon to be mother and for the first time, I see us turning into friends. Adult-y friend. That is, by far, the best present I could ever hope for while being in this house. I love that I can ask you for help or talk to you about whatever pops into my mind and not feel embarrassed, or even when I DO feel embarrassed, to get past it, because it has led to some amazing conversations.

Mom, you show me what a good mother-daughter relationship looks like. It involves fights, good books, the occasional movie, tears, dates, talks about boys, hand holding, cuddling, laughing hysterically, therapy, church and respect. Parental perfection is NOT included, but no one cares, because it’s too much fun anyway. I love that I can walk into your office and you make time for me. I love that you support my relationship with my fiancĂ© even when it’s hard to and you always give me the mommy perspective that I need. You have taught me how to cook (I swear, I know more than just noodles) and you share your clothes with me now that I’m all pregnant and whatnot. You don’t make fun of my fat feet and you held my hand during my first ultrasound. I laugh like crazy when I’m around you. I love sharing my favorite books with you because I know you’ll enjoy them as much as I have. You taught me how to slice a mango the right way, how to make the best chamomile tea and that curly hair is ALWAYS better then straight hair. You gave me your tool box. I didn’t inherit your organizational skills, but you help me out with them anyway. I always remember that if your around, my situation become 100% less stressful. I learned to love my body from you. I learned to use contacts instead of glasses from you. I learned to play nice with my little brother from you and I guarantee that the first time I ‘mama bear’ at someone, I’ll have learned it from you.

Dad, you taught me how to sing. My funniest memory of us is me putting my hand over your mouth. I had so much fun driving to school with you my junior and senior year. We’ve had fun exchanging music and Stephen King books. I love how we have a mutual affection for Constantine and Hellboy. Thanks for permanently spawning a lifelong hatred of talk radio in my early years and for teaching me to research and read about politics, not just settle for what the general media tells me. I can’t wait to see you rock my boys to sleep and I can’t wait to go and get my CHL with you when I turn 21. I love how you converted to Catholicism and how that makes you a stronger Catholic. I love how we can get together and bitch and feel better because of it. I love how you gave me my sense of humor, albeit a somewhat morbid one and my ability to defend myself and my love of a good creepy novel.

I love you

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Day Two- To a Crush

Dear Crush (now fiancé),
Wow. It’s been over a year and my ability to write a warm fuzzy note to you is still sub-par. I find expressing my feelings to you in any way difficult because they are such a myriad of intense emotion. And if that statement wasn’t ridiculously gay, I don’t know what is.

You are my closest friend and the person I trust most in the world. You bring out the best in me (regardless of how I claim the opposite) and I cannot WAIT to see you become a dad on top of the man I see you becoming each day. You can always make me smile and laugh and that is the best gift you could ever give me. I love that we never run out of things to talk about and I love how I can be completely pissed off at you and you still make me laugh and smile even as I’m shrieking. I love how you always are there for me, even when I’m trying to shove you away. I don’t have to pretend when I’m around you. I love how we don’t get along 100 % and that’s okay. I even find your inability to eat tuna endearing. I love how you proposed to me at church (dream come true) and how you get me to accept help and even try new things once in a while. I also like how you DON’T try to make me eat new things when we’re at Olive Garden. Some classics just shouldn’t be messed with. I love how I can talk to you about everything and how you can make me laugh even during my ridiculously awkward moments. I miss my week and a half with you.
I am so excited for our future together because when I’m with you, I see it as a bright one. One that I will love and enjoy and can’t wait to get started on. 2 MORE MONTHS!

I love you

Day One- To a best friend

Dear Best Friend,

I think you are the first real true friend I had in high school. It’s easy to like people, but it’s harder to follow through on a daily basis, and I can’t believe that I’ve only known you for 3 years! It feels like we’ve known each other for ages. Thanks for putting up with CrazyLoveSickMegan and HyperCocaColaMegan and ANGRYMEGAN and InLoveMegan and finally, PregnantMegan (aka Godzilla). My best memory from high school is psychology class. Because nothing makes a horribly boring class fun like a can of coke, a purple notebook that we TOTALLY would have been expelled for if anyone could actually read what we wrote and pretzels. And hot cheetoes. You shared your love of huge colorful earrings with me and I shared my violent tendencies with you. You have helped me systematically eliminate the psycho exes that I seem to acquire with awkward regularity. We sat in chapel and laughed at the most inappropriate times and made awkward turtles and threatened each others boyfriends constantly. If I ever go bungee jumping (which will be never in a million fucking years), I want you holding my hand and screaming with me on the way down.

I have been proven right that COUNTRY MUSIC ROCKS. Ha. I went home the day I found out you listened to country music and screamed my brains out, I was so happy. You don’t judge me, even through you have every right to and I get angry for you when you can’t say how angry you really feel. I love how we can sit and rave in total agreement about everything. I love how we both have crazy families and how we always ALWAYS call our moms to tell them we are okay. You have no idea how much less lonely I feel, now that I know I’m not the only girl who does that. I love how every picture we take involves us either making model faces or our tongues out in some way. I can’t WAIT to turn 21 with you and celebrate like crazy. I know you will be the best godmother/aunt that my boys will ever have.

We are the perfect pair, and I consider you the sister I never had (which is probably best for both our mothers’ sanities). It PISSES ME OFF that you go to college so far away and that I don’t get to see you every day like I should, but I love you whether you are 9 hours away or right next to me. We’ve been through some insane stuff together and I feel so blessed that we took the time to get to know each other because I doubt I could’ve made it through all the craziness that is love and pain and high school without you. I love love love you and you are my bestest friend. I miss you like crazy already and I can’t wait for you to get home.

Friday, August 27, 2010

30 Day Challenge, starting today

Day 1- Your best friend

Day 2- Your crush

Day 3- Your parents

Day 4- Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5- Your dreams

Day 6- A stranger

Day 7- Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8- Your favorite internet friend

Day 9- Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10- Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to

Day 11- A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12- The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13- Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14- Someone you've drifted away from

Day 15- The person you miss the most

Day 16- Someone that's not in your state/country

Day 17- Someone from your childhood

Day 18- The person that you wish you could be

Day 19- Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20- The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21- Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22- Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23- The last person you kissed

Day 24- The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25- The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26- The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27- The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28- Someone that changed your life

Day 29- The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30- Your reflection in the mirror

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Just Some Good Ole Boys

Hello again! This post is going to be a tribute to some of my friends, the few of them who make me laugh hysterically when I think about the times we’ve had. I know it sounds incredibly dorky, but I miss them like all hell and I’m glad we had the chance to get to know each other.

So, starting out, I’d like to thank Big Tony, for making yearbook memorable. Granted, there was at least one other person in yearbook with me who made it ‘memorable’ but Tony and I literally cornered the market on anger. Our little slice of the table could have been known as “the place of repressed rage.” Except, we didn’t repress it very well. Or at least I didn’t. We terrorized any staff member who wasn’t our age and laughed our asses off whenever we could. He gave me rides whenever I needed one and my little brother thought he was the most amazing guy ever. He still needs to come over and meet my cat, we still need to go play pool and he literally made my senior year funnier, lighter and easier to bear. He believes in my ability to kick ass and he helps me remember that a good ole boy beats out any tree hugging, vegetarian, lily-livered, anti-gun nut. Regardless of how awesome they think their hybrid is. I spent almost an hour waiting for the damn Scottish Festival to start so I could listen to him play drums. I think I permanently disturbed him by telling him I was pregnant with twins. When he went to New York for yearbook, in between being intoxicated and partying in the hotel room (because, yeah, that teacher was a great chaperone….no wonder my parents didn’t want me to go), he lit a candle and picked out a rosary for me from St. Patricks’ Cathedral. What I miss most about him is his cat, the way he lets me sing into the Xbox live to distract everyone while we play Halo, my final Scottish festival, in which I got a hug RIGHT before his first number, a ridiculous shit-eating grin during the King of Laios dance and mostly our conversations in yearbook, which involved a whole lot of swearing, a few times I was in tears and trying to get yearbook work done. Which always got done somehow, even with the massive heaps of distraction we visited upon ourselves. I can always count on him for a beer drinking, burger eating good time. This translates into, please come back from godforsaken Europe so we can have more before I can’t get out of bed or drive myself to your house. Or before I become a terrible hostess because I’ll be mommy to TWO boys.

Next, my thanks go to a guy named Abhiram. Apart from him literally being the smartest guy I know, he is a pilot (I know, right? COME ON LADEEEEZ!) and a master debater and has the easiest laugh. It’s quite attractive (LADEEEEZ). I remember long and irritating conversations about God and the nature of religion during lunchtime my junior year, as well as coming up and shrieking about whatever the latest news was near our various lockers. He definitely defines the A Very Potter Musical description of Snape “the kindest, gentlest, bravest SEXIEST man I’ve ever met.” Now that I’ve completely made a fool of myself by saying that, please take that particular description with a grain of salt. And go watch AVPM, as it’s pretty much the only way you’ll be able to understand that quote. But in any case, he brings out the intellectual in me, as well as a great deal of affection and nonverbal communication. I also remember him walking around in a hoodie 24/7 for NO apparent reason. Maybe he didn’t like his curly hair? In any case, his mom taught me a lot about acceptance and love, and she continues to, even now. I look forward to reading his name in the newspapers very very soon, but for now, I’ll settle with being excited to see him on Saturday.

Another short post. Damn it damn it damn it.