Good Morning

Good morning to the world
which has been pretty difficult today
and it is only the very beginning of the day.

I have a friend coming over
today. I have no idea what time she'll be here
or what we'll do, but hopefully she doesn't expect to much
because my house is not my house
and there is children's stuff everywhere.

I started a post last night that I'll probably
have to finish tonight or the night after, because it is one
of those things that only comes out when it is late
and I am tired or drunk or anything but staring into the bright
shining morning.

The idea of tomorrow is giving me a heart attack.
Between dentists and job interviews, I find myself
pretty terrified. This week has been too crazy and I can't see
the weekend being any better. There are over  600 books on my kindle
and I can't choose between them. So I read a few last night
and spent a few hours terrified out of my mind
because they were scary and it always takes me a good 12 hours
to get the horrors out of the front of my head.

They are gone, now, the ghosts and monsters of last night
they might be back but they probably won't
but just in case, I'll be careful when I drive at night.

In any case, until she gets here
if she gets here
(please get here)
I'll be listening to my music extra loud
and ignoring these dreadful feelings until something gets
resolved
and maybe pray
for the first time in a long time.

Day One

Day 1 of living outside my house. It’s kind of disconcerting, really. I went to go visit my house and my family and I felt just exactly like that, a visitor. It’s hard to feel accountable to anyone at this point. I’m thankful to my boyfriend and his parents for letting me come stay at their house.

I now feel homeless. Now THAT’S a fun feeling. Pardon me, gentle readers, for sounding like an emo little girl today. Bear with me for a few more lines and I promise to be back to my normal sarcastic perky self. But it’s been raining for almost 3 days, I can’t go home for at least a week, maybe two weeks and I’m all super sad and whatnot. And pregnant, so I have an excuse to be all snarky and whatnot, but I don’t like it. I’m going to a party tonight so please, Lord, help me be a nice and friendly person tonight. Help me be a channel of Your peace.

On a lighter note, I ACED a job interview. Kicked its ass. Now please, please please call me back! It was fun though, I love interviews. I think I’m supposed to be afraid of interviews, but I find them fun and kind of challenging. I’m dying to go to work there. I’m dying to WORK. Period. Want off bed and into work.

More to come.