"Oh Mary, you're covered in roses
You're covered in ashes
you're covered in rain
You're covered in babies
covered in slashes."
~Mary by Patty Griffin


Things I want more

my friend cat Noah to come home
even if I can't have him
my own cat to love
the ability to catnap
literally
with a cat
and lots of purrs
to show my children what it is like to have an animal
meow until you pet it
and purr like a boat when you do.
To share a cold coke with a chris
to remember what it's like to be fearless
for a little while.
I'd like my phone case
which is purple (unintentional) and covered in octopus (intentional)
I want my own kitchen and my own christmas tree
and I want to have a housewarming party and
decorate my own place.

I want my head to stop hurting so much so consistently
and I want it quieter
I want to be able to bake fresh bread
as much as I want
and I want it to smell the way I like it

Pictures

I had a new memory
yesterday
I'm having trouble remembering where it came from
or why I remember it
now
but I remember why I wouldn't want to
remember it.

Every time there was family photos
for easter, christmas, birthdays and so on
someone ended up in tears
normally me
because we weren't smiling right
or standing right
and yelling at someone to smile better
doesn't make them smile at all
and things
that retrospectively
seem like micromanagement
that shirt is not okay
I can see your cleavage
go steam it I can see wrinkles
change your hair
too much makeup
fix your bra
that's the wrong bra

and I heard this everywhere
from church
to prom to school to bed
and everywhere in between.

Free As My Hair

Straightening my hair

has an odd effect on my 

self-image.

Much like when

I look closely into my own eyes

all of a sudden I see beauty

where previously, 

there was none.

But straightening my long hair

takes time and effort

and so it only happens

once in a great while.

Forget me not?

When i got a text
from you
a blank one
(               )
I remember that
on occasion I wonder
what you think of me
if you remember
the girl
in the dress
and how much she loved you

you probably don't
Because I was never more
that a girl with a crush to you
an easy off

forget me
please