"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Reverb10- A day Late, but Day One

Reverb10 is a project used to write every day of December.

First days assignment (yesterdays', so there will be two posts today) is this:

One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

I'd choose extreme as my 2010 word. I didn't climb Mount Everest and I didn't swim to the bottom of the sea. I think I rode my bike a grand total of once. I kept up with my music, playing guitar and piano as little as I've ever played them.

But I was pregnant and gave birth to twins, something that I never imagined that I'd have the physical, emotional or mental strength to do. It's an extreme choice, to give birth to and love these babies. It took major toll on my body and it still takes major toll on almost every aspect of my life. Being pregnant and unmarried while living in your parents house is a scary thing. On top of it, the complications of twin pregnancy were often reminding me of my choices. Fear and pain were constants in my pregnancy, healthy for the most part though it was.

The rewards make the extremity of the sacrifices worth everything. My children make the extreme choices I made eleven months ago worth all the pain I've gone through. I love them like I've never loved anything.

I realized that the person I was with is who I want to be forever, not because I believe in some magical destiny or fate, but because I believe that I am going to choose to love this person for the rest of our lives. It's a radical decision, choosing love.

My life became radical when I chose life for my children. My life became radical when I chose to be a parent to my children. My life became radical when I looked past my fear of commitment and hurt and betrayal and chose to love.

Next year? I want my word to be triumph.

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