"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way the words do

This is an apology
to a person who will
probably never read this.

I am cold and mean
at times
brutal and an ass
but I like you

and sometimes I say terrible things
and I won't remember them
because I assume everyone
has the same pain tolerance
that I do
and mine is so very high

I am sorry
that it takes someone else
bringing it to my attention
that I hurt you

I am sorry
I said that I don't trust you
you haven't done anything to prove
that you aren't trustworthy and
while I may have said that in jest
I'm sorry that it was taken as truth
because I do trust you.

I am sorry
that I did not look past my own nose
to see that you were hurting too
and that I didn't see your pain
through my own.

All I can say
is that I suck
a lot
more often than sometimes
and I don't mean to hurt you
and I'll try not to do it any more.

So to be brief
which I can be truly bad at
I'm sorry I hurt you
I'm sorry you were hurt
I was hurt similarly and I know
what you are going through
I'll try not to be so much of a jerk
You are my family
and I miss you
and I love you
and I want you to be around
and I hope you forgive me.

And let me say this out loud.
Because I want you in my life.

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