meep

Oh
you called me
back and I am so
fucking embarrassed
and I haven't even said
anything yet.

I can feel
myself flushing and
feeling flustered and I
haven't even begun to say
the words you might need to hear.

"so many things that
I wish you knew
so many walls up
I can break through"

I hope you
mean it when you say
we can see each other and
I hope you
hear me and
believe me because you
are on my short short list
of people that i give a fuck about
and I care what you think about me
and
I hope I didn't break things
to where I can't fix them

I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

I'll be a better sister
this time.

Don't ever give your two year old twin boys
basketballs.
They turn into tiny war machines
of doom
scattering chaos and broken things
wherever they go
along with stuffed animals,
cookies
and their mothers sanity.