Only in Dreams Do things work out

Unless they are my dreams
which have recently featured
a great deal of blood and fear


Some days are harder than others
for instance
I got a message yesterday
that said
verbatim


Once a whore always a whore! Not only are you a fucking cow you also have no integrity or loyalty and you deserve every pound of your morbid obesity you slimy scum of the Earth!!!!
~Anonymous

As you might imagine,
this is fascinating to me. 
At first it was ugly and made
me very very angry
especially after seeing that I was 
not the only person in my family to 
receive such a message. It helped 
because it allowed me to pinpoint who
sends such things online.
 And now I know.
And after talking to a few friends
I still have no idea
of the why. And it pains me
and I don't know why.
As it turns out, I have not completely
divorced myself from giving a shit
what other people think.

It isn't nice to call people names
or try and mess with their relationships
and family.
It isn't very nice
at all.

I swear I'll stop obsessing about this soon
but 

In the words of Veronica Mars
"We used to be friends, a long time ago."
and to be honest
those words
haunt me.