I am the worst mother ever some days.
I don't have patience for anything.
I can't stop raising my voice.
They try to make me laugh but I can't.
They like to drive their little cars on the wall. It is super loud.
They are so cute.
But they are two. Or about 3 weeks from two. So they always want their way, they are super whiny and they throw their food. And everything else. But everyone else thinks they are the cutest ever.
I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm on anti depressants, so I'm feeling a little less 100% down, but I'm still feeling pretty horrible on my off days. I need to have my own place. Or rather, my family needs our own home. I think things would be easier if we had our own place. I don't know how long it will take. Sometimes it seems soon and at other times, it feels so far away.
On a lighter note, I did a voice check/audition for a choir yesterday. I did a lot better than I expected, seeing as I haven't sung in a non-shower capacity in almost three years, seeing as I quit a choir I'd been in for six years when I found out I was pregnant. Getting pregnant at nineteen was not good for my career as a singer. Not that I had one to begin with. In any case, the choir director listed me as a second soprano, but said she'd move me up to first within a month or two. First practice is tonight, that is good!
My husband is trying so hard to remind me that there's good right now. I don't see it very well. There are good parts sometimes, but so much of it just makes me want to curl up in bed permanently.