"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Saturday, June 1, 2013

This face
my face is really really
exhausted by the way things are
so I'm going to do what I do best
which is write sad blurbs
and answer questions
if I feel like it.
Life is too sad
to be straightforward about
what's happening right now.

" I don't think that Heaven waits
for only those who congregate...
But I believe in love
I believe in music
I believe in magic
and I believe in you."

I hate skirts. So much.

I have really weird feelings about the Hannibal show.
I've read some really fantastic commentary that encompasses
it, but I'm torn. I really need a few days of quiet so I can watch it
but that would probably result in me being afraid to leave the house
for a while. Visually, it is beautiful. And cannibal related puns are
hilarious. And unintentional. I hope.

After almost three weeks of feeling horrifically ill,
it is a relief to go back to feeling relatively normal.
I'm not good mentally, but physically I'm a lot better.

I wish I could say I'm specifically
a cat or a dog person
I love love love cats
I love the feel of the soft fur
and the soft purr and
the way they bite or claw you randomly
but how most of them love me and knead
my various body parts
and jewel eyes
but I love dogs
I love unconditional love
and tail wags
and barks and slobber
and a large warm body
and exuberant joy at sight.
I just want a pack of cats and dogs
that roam around my house
that eat and snuggle
and roam with me.

Irene Adler's battle dress in Sherlock
made me scream with happiness.

I feel sad and horrible and alone
many minutes and many hours and many days
but there are also minutes and hours of the day
that I feel loved
sometimes when a friend reaches out
or when I'm excited about dinner with a brother
or laughing hysterically over something I've read.

I lived in an apartment with a garden tub
for two or three months
it was glorious.
I like the water I am in to be boiling hot
to the point of being painful
but I am learning to take cool showers.
I'm not currently a fan of baths but I'll
sit in a tub full of painfully hot water every
once in a while.
The cold showers feel good though.

I want one of these quite badly. It will be a while before I buy one
or any of the other many things in this shop
but I love the look of it. Let's be friends, tiny octopus.

The closest thing to me is my phone and kindle.
I'm reading Tamora Pierce books, currently
and rewatching Dr. Who, because I love comfort stuff.
Dr Who isn't comforting so much as familiarly painful
but OH WELL.

I am a Taurus.

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