My Mama's Broken Heart

Things that have broken my heart.

Reading old journals.
Sherlock
Merlin
Buffy
Angel.
Being told that he loved someone else.
some song.
discussing politics.
discussing religion.
feeling abandoned
When I'm attracted to someone.
staircases
friends looking at tall buildings
Several stories.
my inability to make good choices.
The fact that I NEVER have enough money.
Seeing old loves.
my kids being difficult.
all the life choices that are so difficult these days.

One of the Great Secrets of Adulthood,
as it says on Captain Awkward
I can say no
and I owe no one an explanation.
I'm still learning that
also, that website is the best
seriously
feminism, advice and what self love looks like
also, multiple stories of my life.

Wish I could find a million things to write about
or maybe a story
finding stories is my delight
but it is so difficult
more difficult
the whole world is made of fairy tales it seems
and music
and love, maybe.

This day has been freakishly long
I am pretty tired
and I have played a lot of Darksiders 2
And it is a gorgeous
and visually pleasing game.
But since I suck at most games that
you don't play on the computer
I'm having a hard time getting through it
I know I know
call me a whaaaambulance.
And by saying that, I have accidentally triggered the
part of my brain that sings
LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU MY HEART
BUT THE VERY NEXT DAY YOU GAVE IT AWAY.
That's nice.

Boy, I'd like a drink.
Something to take a little bit of an edge off.
Long days and pleasant nights.
at least hopefully.