Things that have broken my heart.
Reading old journals.
Sherlock
Merlin
Buffy
Angel.
Being told that he loved someone else.
some song.
discussing politics.
discussing religion.
feeling abandoned
When I'm attracted to someone.
staircases
friends looking at tall buildings
Several stories.
my inability to make good choices.
The fact that I NEVER have enough money.
Seeing old loves.
my kids being difficult.
all the life choices that are so difficult these days.
Showing posts with label angel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angel. Show all posts
Friday, January 11, 2013
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Confessions, pt 1
"Oh my God
I am heartily sorry
for having offended thee......"
Just so you know
I haven't magically decided
that all aspects of Catholicism is
mine again, however that has
been in my head all day so perhaps I
shall confess my sins unto Blogspot
Perhaps in hope that someone will
read them and absolve me of all my sins.
Who the hell knows.
I confess
I used to watch Buffy and
Angel and Firefly while I
was supposed to be studying in
school. While Joss Whedon was
a good teacher in how to behave during
high school
(don't drop your stake in school,
if it turns into a giant snake you should kill it,
sometimes when you sleep with him, he turns evil,
sometimes they leave, but they come back for prom,
don't build sex robots,
Being evil isn't a forever thing,
Sometimes people die,
Love is like cookie dough,'
Ah, the pitter pat of tiny feet in huge combat boots )
I think I might've done better in that world.
I confess
Bisexual is a word
which is an adjective
meaning sexually attracted to both
men and women
and all through high school I believed
that this was a mythical sexuality
you were either gay or straight
which retrospectively was kind of a silly
view, seeing as I was attracted to both men and women
all through that time, inasmuch as there
are men and women in high school
which for the most part, we were not.
And inasmuch as I was attracted to people
which isn't much, as far as bodies go
for the most part, I just like personalities.
People can be pretty, or ugly, or gorgeous or plain
but a personality can radiate more than any
perfect eyes or flawless lips ever could
and I could tell you much more about the people
that I've wanted
then describing them physically.
I'm not perfect about this
but for the most part
if you are my friend
that is when the attraction comes.
I confess
that I don't know how
many times I've fallen in love
I still love so many people
but I have fallen in and out of love
since I was fourteen and now I am
twenty one
and the list just seem to long
and too painful
and the large hunks of my heart
that once felt ripped out
are now merely specks and mean
nearly nothing
but memories of love and pain
and so I confess to loving too many
and too much
and forgetting too quickly.
I confess
to the love of the human body
I at times worship at the altar
of smooth skin and hard hands
of large eyes and perfect hair
and I confess, that even though
I don't like my body as a whole
being naked makes it feel so much better.
and I confess that I'd rather see someone
naked than in a Armani suit
or a Chanel dress.
I confess
that sometimes I get so frustrated
that I yell at my children
but in the next 30 seconds
I can turn it around and they
can make me smile.
I confess
that I have not been able to
eat a hot dog since elementary school.
and that I have to avoid Starbucks, because
I get addicted easily, but my favorite time to
get it is Fall, because of the salted caramel
and I love getting it Tuesday nights after singing
with my dad.
that I hate Pepsi
but love Mountain Dew
but love Coca cola products the best
that chocolate makes me depressed
but sometimes I sneak some anyway.
That potatoes and pasta are my comfort
food.
I confess
that when at some point we have a house
I will need half of the man cave. It will
be a woman cave. I need space and quiet
and a place to call my own too.
No special allowances for one spouse,
unless he doesn't want one, in which case
I'm up to take it!
I confess
that my interest in body modifications
isn't simply because I find it beautiful
and fascinating
but because I plan on modifying my body
many times in the future
because I am just now learning that it
is mine and what I do with it has nothing
to do with whether or not I am a good or bad
person.
Prepare yourself accordingly.
I confess
to believing for years that
Purity was important for your future spouse
that sex and marriage was only possible between
a male and a female
that being a lesbian was only for other people's
viewing pleasure
that being gay was bad
that my worth was only held between my legs
but I'm proud to say
that I've never worn a purity ring
and that I stopped believing in all that
years ago and it has been a far healthier
attitude. I still am ashamed that I can even
remember thinking this though.
I am heartily sorry
for having offended thee......"
Just so you know
I haven't magically decided
that all aspects of Catholicism is
mine again, however that has
been in my head all day so perhaps I
shall confess my sins unto Blogspot
Perhaps in hope that someone will
read them and absolve me of all my sins.
Who the hell knows.
I confess
I used to watch Buffy and
Angel and Firefly while I
was supposed to be studying in
school. While Joss Whedon was
a good teacher in how to behave during
high school
(don't drop your stake in school,
if it turns into a giant snake you should kill it,
sometimes when you sleep with him, he turns evil,
sometimes they leave, but they come back for prom,
don't build sex robots,
Being evil isn't a forever thing,
Sometimes people die,
Love is like cookie dough,'
Ah, the pitter pat of tiny feet in huge combat boots )
I think I might've done better in that world.
I confess
Bisexual is a word
which is an adjective
meaning sexually attracted to both
men and women
and all through high school I believed
that this was a mythical sexuality
you were either gay or straight
which retrospectively was kind of a silly
view, seeing as I was attracted to both men and women
all through that time, inasmuch as there
are men and women in high school
which for the most part, we were not.
And inasmuch as I was attracted to people
which isn't much, as far as bodies go
for the most part, I just like personalities.
People can be pretty, or ugly, or gorgeous or plain
but a personality can radiate more than any
perfect eyes or flawless lips ever could
and I could tell you much more about the people
that I've wanted
then describing them physically.
I'm not perfect about this
but for the most part
if you are my friend
that is when the attraction comes.
I confess
that I don't know how
many times I've fallen in love
I still love so many people
but I have fallen in and out of love
since I was fourteen and now I am
twenty one
and the list just seem to long
and too painful
and the large hunks of my heart
that once felt ripped out
are now merely specks and mean
nearly nothing
but memories of love and pain
and so I confess to loving too many
and too much
and forgetting too quickly.
I confess
to the love of the human body
I at times worship at the altar
of smooth skin and hard hands
of large eyes and perfect hair
and I confess, that even though
I don't like my body as a whole
being naked makes it feel so much better.
and I confess that I'd rather see someone
naked than in a Armani suit
or a Chanel dress.
I confess
that sometimes I get so frustrated
that I yell at my children
but in the next 30 seconds
I can turn it around and they
can make me smile.
I confess
that I have not been able to
eat a hot dog since elementary school.
and that I have to avoid Starbucks, because
I get addicted easily, but my favorite time to
get it is Fall, because of the salted caramel
and I love getting it Tuesday nights after singing
with my dad.
that I hate Pepsi
but love Mountain Dew
but love Coca cola products the best
that chocolate makes me depressed
but sometimes I sneak some anyway.
That potatoes and pasta are my comfort
food.
I confess
that when at some point we have a house
I will need half of the man cave. It will
be a woman cave. I need space and quiet
and a place to call my own too.
No special allowances for one spouse,
unless he doesn't want one, in which case
I'm up to take it!
I confess
that my interest in body modifications
isn't simply because I find it beautiful
and fascinating
but because I plan on modifying my body
many times in the future
because I am just now learning that it
is mine and what I do with it has nothing
to do with whether or not I am a good or bad
person.
Prepare yourself accordingly.
I confess
to believing for years that
Purity was important for your future spouse
that sex and marriage was only possible between
a male and a female
that being a lesbian was only for other people's
viewing pleasure
that being gay was bad
that my worth was only held between my legs
but I'm proud to say
that I've never worn a purity ring
and that I stopped believing in all that
years ago and it has been a far healthier
attitude. I still am ashamed that I can even
remember thinking this though.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Starting more Posts
Hi, my name is: Megan
Never in my life have I been: out of the country, to a club, able to take a road trip, seen blue water, able to enjoy cold weather.
The one person/people who can drive me nuts is/are: my brother. I love him to DEATH but we are a true sibling pair....and we are both attention whores at times, which does not help at all.
High school: interesting. Painful in lots of ways. Very informative, but not in a learning way.
When I’m nervous: my face turns bright bright red. According to someone, my hair does too.
The last song I listened to was: Somewhere with You by Kenny Chesney.
If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: Probably Gwen or Hinna.
My hair is: wavy, brown and mid-back length with red and gold natural highlights.
When I was 5: I had a weiner dog named alex.
Last Christmas: My first with the twins. It was fun and hard and somewhat disconcertingly different.
I should be..: Not doing this.
When I look down I see: hands that are beautiful, breasts that are much larger and look alien on my body, a larger tummy from having twins and lots of stretch marks. This is the first time in my life I've looked at my body and not seen beautiful.
The happiest recent event was: toss up between my boys smiles these days and Katie's LBT party. I love how free I felt there. Heheheh
If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: I don't know. I've honestly never seen it.
By this time next year: Nursing school, ojala.
My current gripe is: I'm always tired and I can't find my effing pills.
I have a hard time understanding: people who like chicken more than beef, the appeal of hipster men, the appeal of shows like the O.C and most reality TV, why I can't stop watching the bachelor.
There’s this girl I know that: is an extremely insecure person currently.
I like it when you: call me for lunch or when you get out of work. Even when I can't talk, it means you are thinking about me. And that's pretty awesome.
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: My mom and Michael.
The thing I want to buy: season 2 of Canivale, more charmed, buffy books and lots of hot cheetoes!
If you visited the place I was born: you’d be at the right hospital. In the perfect medical center to be sick.
If you spent the night at my house: You’d probably not get a lot of sleep and be horrified by the mess of my room, but we’d spend all night talking. We’d exchange books, and watch Grey’s Anatomy or Buffy.
I’d stop my wedding if: I found out he’d cheated. Or alternately, if someone came out with a gun. Then I’d whip out my gun that I fully plan on hiding in my skirt and shoot the shit out of them.
The world could do without: mudwhompers. Jersey shore. A LOT of anime. Britney Spears. Orange nail polish.
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: holy fucking shit that sounds horrific.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: Sexy black FM (extra points if you know what that means ) S&M Lady Gaga leather pumps. Big hoop earrings. The Repo Man soundtrack.
Most recent thing someone else bought me: Cokes and some awesome gum.
My middle name is: Tired.
In the morning I: am trying to feed children quickly and going back to sleep for an hour or two.
The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: whales, except I fucking hate whales. So dolphins.
Once, at a bar: technically and under in a court of law, I’d swear I’ve never been to a bar. And I haven’t, I’ve only ever been to restaurants with bars in them.
Last night I was: trying to sleep, eating, and watching OZ, my new show. Its dark and twisty, I love it.
There’s this guy I know who: el tiene mi Corazon por todo tiempo.
If I was an animal I’d be: some kind of cat. I’m a hunter at heart. Lots of affection but lots of capacity for cruelty as well.
A better name for me would be: I’d love to be Angel.
Tomorrow I am: all my tomorrows this week, I’m relaxing. And then after that comes planning for school, jobs and wedding.
Tonight I am: ;) but really, I’m going to sleep
My birthday is: in May. :-)
Never in my life have I been: out of the country, to a club, able to take a road trip, seen blue water, able to enjoy cold weather.
The one person/people who can drive me nuts is/are: my brother. I love him to DEATH but we are a true sibling pair....and we are both attention whores at times, which does not help at all.
High school: interesting. Painful in lots of ways. Very informative, but not in a learning way.
When I’m nervous: my face turns bright bright red. According to someone, my hair does too.
The last song I listened to was: Somewhere with You by Kenny Chesney.
If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: Probably Gwen or Hinna.
My hair is: wavy, brown and mid-back length with red and gold natural highlights.
When I was 5: I had a weiner dog named alex.
Last Christmas: My first with the twins. It was fun and hard and somewhat disconcertingly different.
I should be..: Not doing this.
When I look down I see: hands that are beautiful, breasts that are much larger and look alien on my body, a larger tummy from having twins and lots of stretch marks. This is the first time in my life I've looked at my body and not seen beautiful.
The happiest recent event was: toss up between my boys smiles these days and Katie's LBT party. I love how free I felt there. Heheheh
If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: I don't know. I've honestly never seen it.
By this time next year: Nursing school, ojala.
My current gripe is: I'm always tired and I can't find my effing pills.
I have a hard time understanding: people who like chicken more than beef, the appeal of hipster men, the appeal of shows like the O.C and most reality TV, why I can't stop watching the bachelor.
There’s this girl I know that: is an extremely insecure person currently.
I like it when you: call me for lunch or when you get out of work. Even when I can't talk, it means you are thinking about me. And that's pretty awesome.
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: My mom and Michael.
The thing I want to buy: season 2 of Canivale, more charmed, buffy books and lots of hot cheetoes!
If you visited the place I was born: you’d be at the right hospital. In the perfect medical center to be sick.
If you spent the night at my house: You’d probably not get a lot of sleep and be horrified by the mess of my room, but we’d spend all night talking. We’d exchange books, and watch Grey’s Anatomy or Buffy.
I’d stop my wedding if: I found out he’d cheated. Or alternately, if someone came out with a gun. Then I’d whip out my gun that I fully plan on hiding in my skirt and shoot the shit out of them.
The world could do without: mudwhompers. Jersey shore. A LOT of anime. Britney Spears. Orange nail polish.
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: holy fucking shit that sounds horrific.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: Sexy black FM (extra points if you know what that means ) S&M Lady Gaga leather pumps. Big hoop earrings. The Repo Man soundtrack.
Most recent thing someone else bought me: Cokes and some awesome gum.
My middle name is: Tired.
In the morning I: am trying to feed children quickly and going back to sleep for an hour or two.
The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: whales, except I fucking hate whales. So dolphins.
Once, at a bar: technically and under in a court of law, I’d swear I’ve never been to a bar. And I haven’t, I’ve only ever been to restaurants with bars in them.
Last night I was: trying to sleep, eating, and watching OZ, my new show. Its dark and twisty, I love it.
There’s this guy I know who: el tiene mi Corazon por todo tiempo.
If I was an animal I’d be: some kind of cat. I’m a hunter at heart. Lots of affection but lots of capacity for cruelty as well.
A better name for me would be: I’d love to be Angel.
Tomorrow I am: all my tomorrows this week, I’m relaxing. And then after that comes planning for school, jobs and wedding.
Tonight I am: ;) but really, I’m going to sleep
My birthday is: in May. :-)
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