Dot dot dot

Sometimes
very occasionally
or more often
then sometimes
because I apparently have no
boundaries
I listen to people talk
and I just want to
cover
my eyes and ears
and writhe with anger and irritation.

why
Why
WHY

are you inflicting
your opinions on me
unasked for
unwanted
if I wanted to know
what you think
about these subjects
I'd ask
but I do know what you think
and you think like a person
who just has no reasonable
logic
question the shots
question the things that can prevent diseases
but don't question the hormones that you are
ingesting to lose weight?
don't question that you are starving yourself to
lose weight
stop sending me emails by the following
anything catholic
dave ramsey
abortions
pictures of weeping eagles
things  you haven't looked up
on goddamn snopes
Don't tell me that because
none of your friends have been assaulted
and you haven't been assaulted
that the statistics are wrong
and that you shouldn't protect yourself
if you can
that one day I'll have more worldviews
and better worldviews and
why would  your friends tell you
if you wouldn't believe them anyway?
Why would I tell you if I was the one in three
or one in six that you know
because you might not believe me anyway
what if I tell you that of my friends
there's more than one in three
or more than one in six
what is wrong with you?

stop stop stop

Sometime I worry that
you'll see the real me
she'll get out
somehow
not even all of her
just a bit or a piece
that isn't bright and shiny
or isn't broken in the right way
and you'll see that the world
is so much bigger than you want me
to see
and I am brighter
and shine more
than you could ever imagine
and
and
and

and maybe,
just maybe
then
I'll stop rolling
my eyes.

Confessions, pt 1

"Oh my God
I am heartily sorry
for having offended thee......"

Just so you know
I haven't magically decided
that all aspects of Catholicism is
mine again, however that has
been in my head all day so perhaps I
shall confess my sins unto Blogspot
Perhaps in hope that someone will
read them and absolve me of all my sins.
Who the hell knows.

I confess
I used to watch Buffy and
Angel and Firefly while I
was supposed to be studying in
school. While Joss Whedon was
a good teacher in how to behave during
high school
 (don't drop your stake in school,
if it turns into a giant snake you should kill it,
 sometimes when you sleep with him, he turns evil,
sometimes they leave, but they come back for prom,
don't build sex robots,
Being evil isn't a forever thing,
Sometimes people die,
Love is like cookie dough,'
Ah, the pitter pat of tiny feet in huge combat boots )
I think I might've done better in that world.

I confess
Bisexual is a word
which is an adjective
meaning sexually attracted to both
men and women
and all through high school I believed
that this was a mythical sexuality
you were either gay or straight
which retrospectively was kind of a silly
view, seeing as I was attracted to both men and women
all through that time, inasmuch as there
are men and women in high school
which for the most part, we were not.
And inasmuch as I was attracted to people
which isn't much, as far as bodies go
for the most part, I just like personalities.
People can be pretty, or ugly, or gorgeous or plain
but a personality can radiate more than any
perfect eyes or flawless lips ever could
and I could tell you much more about the people
that I've wanted
then describing them physically.
I'm not perfect about this
but for the most part
if you are my friend
that is when the attraction comes.

I confess
that I don't know how
many times I've fallen in love
I still love so many people
but I have fallen in and out of love
since I was fourteen and now I am
twenty one
and the list just seem to long
and too painful
and the large hunks of my heart
 that once felt ripped out
are now merely specks and mean
nearly nothing
but memories of love and pain
and so I confess to loving too many
and too much
and forgetting too quickly.

I confess
to the love of the human body
I at times worship at the altar
of smooth skin and hard hands
of large eyes and perfect hair
and I confess, that even though
I don't like my body as a whole
being naked makes it feel so much better.
and I confess that I'd rather see someone
naked than in a Armani suit
or a Chanel dress.

I confess
that sometimes I get so frustrated
that I yell at my children
but in the next 30 seconds
I can turn it around and they
can make me smile.

I confess
that I have not been able to
eat a hot dog since elementary school.
and that I have to avoid Starbucks, because
I get addicted easily, but my favorite time to
get it is Fall, because of the salted caramel
and I love getting it Tuesday nights after singing
with my dad.
that I hate Pepsi
but love Mountain Dew
but love Coca cola products the best
that chocolate makes me depressed
but sometimes I sneak some anyway.
That potatoes and pasta are my comfort
food.

I confess
that when at some point we have a house
I will need half of the man cave. It will
be a woman cave. I need space and quiet
and a place to call my own too.
No special allowances for one spouse,
unless he doesn't want one, in which case
I'm up to take it!

I confess
that my interest in body modifications
isn't simply because I find it beautiful
and fascinating
but because I plan on modifying my body
many times in the future
because I am just now learning that it
is mine and what I do with it has nothing
to do with whether or not I am a good or bad
person.
Prepare yourself accordingly.

I confess
to believing for years that
Purity was important for your future spouse
that sex and marriage was only possible between
a male and a female
that being a lesbian was only for other people's
viewing pleasure
that being gay was bad
that my worth was only held between my legs
but I'm proud to say
that I've never worn a purity ring
and that I stopped believing in all that
years ago and it has been a far healthier
attitude. I still am ashamed that I can even
remember thinking this though.

Day 4- Religion

Discuss my views on religion.

This is a hard one. I had a really interesting discussion about God and zero point energy yesterday. It was also about Tesla so....

Here you go!

Any way, I am a Roman Catholic, plain and simple.

With a couple other things.

BUT, that I don't discuss.

The End