"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables

I did
two night shifts
in a row.
What a terrible terrible
idea. Now I feel like a slightly
crazier version of an already deeply
disturbed me. Deeply disturbed me is
annoyed by my lack of sleep and my achy
body parts and can't seem to find a comfortable way to
sit down or lay down or stand or anything.

It is storming outside here
lightening and thunder that I can see
from my comfortable bed and feel the vibrations.
It is comforting and unnerving, all at the same time. Loud noises
and violent sensations mixing with the calming rain that I can't seem to hear
quite as much.

I have a friend
I want to call because
I see that he and his significant other
broke up and I want to know if he's doing okay
but I already took an ambien and I am freakishly tired
and I want to just take him to have lunch or something
where I can hold his hand.
Because when I call him and tell him my friend is being a dick
what do I do
 how do I fix things that I helped break
he calms me down
and when he's in pain
I hold his hand.

I'm back to counting down days
and that's okay.

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