"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Monday, March 18, 2013

This day needs to just full stop

"Forget all you know
just get up and go...
Don't want you to see
when pain overflows."
~Elizaveta, Meant

This day has barely begun and
already I can feel the desperation at the edges.
I am not me
just an angry desperate lonely cloud of
painful nervous energy and
I haven't the patience nor the sanity needed
to get through the day.

And I can kind of identify what I want
(what I need)
because I am screaming silently for
you to hear me
to notice me
to just do SOMETHING.
But instead you play Starcraft
and make me go to the rodeo.

So I meditated on ice for many minutes last night
and I felt my heart harden to stone.

I wish I could say this is the first time
or the last time.
But it is hardly either.

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