"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."
Friday, March 22, 2013
Little Miss You'll Go Far, Little Miss Hide Your Scars
Picked you out and picked you upHopin' that my luck would changeLet the summer fill my lungsSuperstition fill my brain DandelionA million little wishes float across the skyBut it's a waste of breath and a waste of time, I knowCause just like him, you always leave me cryingDandelion Send you dancing on the breezeAnd like a stupid little girlI spent my wishes on a weedThinkin' it could change my world DandelionA million little wishes float across the skyBut it's a waste of breath and a waste of time, I knowCause just like him, you always leave me cryingDandelion Falling stars and lucky penniesHave let me down so many times beforeAnd you're just one more Oh, dandelion, woahOh, dandelionI'm always blowin' kisses out across the skyBut it's a waste of breath and a waste of time, I knowCause just like him, you always leave me cryingDandelionDandelion~ Kacey Musgraves Last night, I bought the Kacey Musgraves albumand I must say, it is by far one of the most enjoyable listening experiences I've had in a long long time. I bought itin preparation for my first night at work. An excellent, inconvenient countryalbum that I won't expect to hear too much of on the radio, but here's hoping,because her writing is incredible, on top of having a lovely voice. Very relatable. Speaking of which, it was a long, quiet night. Quieter than I expected, but full of plenty of work, untilthe very end. I sang for a few hours, which I conveniently forgot about but then I drove home and my voice cracked the entire way. Very few dogs, no cats. So mostly cleaning and prepping for the next dayand no one has called me to say that I did badly or that they are going to fire me so I suppose I did alright. That's good. I'm still pretty damn tired, but that is going to be true until tomorrow morning, most likely. I want to be productive today, I do, but it is all I can do to drag myselfto go see my friends tonight. Must. Be. Human.But my feet don't hurt hardly at all any more while working. The pain is migrating, but it will eventually wear itself out and that's good. I can feel where my body is changing. Andit hurts, but it is worth it. Things feel different. Unfortunately,the whole part time job makes it more difficult to rewire my brainand body to accept staying up at night and sleeping during the daysince it will only happen 2-3 nights a week. And I already have extreme difficultysleeping during the night. But this morning, I came home after dropping off the kidsand I looked at the time and it was nineand I... I think I was laying in bed.And then I woke up and it was 2.It was so fast, I lost some timeand that feels odd, because it didn't take any Ambien or anything. It was just 2 all of a suddenand 4 missed texts and 8 missed calls and 30 emailslater because I was so tired I didn't hear any of it.And while it gave me a heart attack, because I'm not used to succumbing to sleep quite so heartilyIt was so lovely and so quiet in my headfor those hours.My head hasn't been this quiet in yearsand it has lasted. It is almost six and it is still quiet in here.Thank you, brain, for accepting good things on occasion. I appreciate it so much. I'm writing choppilyand I'm not a fan of how it looks or soundsbut it is what is in my head and it is like one straight lineinstead of tens and hundreds of curvy swoopsand for art, that is okay, for my head I can deal with thatbut the comfort of just one internal voicethat is freakishly contentis so damn good.