Falling

Stop releasing singles
before your new album
Taylor Swift
Or I will just buy them all
and then I'll have to buy
the CD as well
monetarily, this could get
problematic
and also my children
are starting to scream when I play
you
because I am playing it too much
Thanks for that Taylor
PS. Your music is fantastic
and is getting better

I've managed to avoid Chick fil a
since the whole debacle
I love the chicken
but fuck it
I will not support
your shitty so called
biblical family values
when you have obviously  never
read the bible.

Learning the music for choir
has been lovely
My piano is in storage
and I can't learn it near
as fast as I could
if I had something to practice on
ugh
but the music is so pretty
must practice
if only my laptop could pretend it was
a piano
which it can't
I'm sure there's programs for this somewhere

my kids love to run
around naked
not really naked
but relatively speaking
which can be alternately
annoying and hilarious
and tiresome
and sometimes they
run up to me and chastise
me in their own language
which does occasionally make me
feel kind of bad
but mostly I just
find it funny
because they do it to anyone
and everyone they can
They are totally related
to me.
Oh dear

sometimes I wonder if I
am speaking in abstract terms
or a different language
because my husband
or my dad
or other people
don't seem to hear me when I speak
or they don't react, they
just keep going and going
and I am not really sure
whether it is my fault.

I asked if my husband was reading
this and he said yes I read it last night.
and then I said, what do you think?
and he said, about what?

Just
like
that.


Seriously?
Seriously!


Sigh
how is that a hard question
how are we grown ups already?
how can I be more grown up?
why can't jobs just come more easily?
everything is so hard
and I know I'm not the only person
who feels this way
but I also feel so silly for
complaining about stuff
that people totally have worse

but I'm still real
still here
and my problems are still real

Shit I don't Say to My Parents

Planned Parenthood isn't bad.

Chick-fil-a can kiss my ass.

I am only going back to church to sing. That is it.

The Bible is truly the most awful book I've ever had the misfortune of reading multiple times. Regardless of how prosaically pretty you may find it (and let it be known, I find much of it pretty and I can probably quote much more of it than you), 90% of it is a terrible life manual.  Please keep this in mind while you are trying to shove various parts of this book down my throat like a giant di- er, hot dog.

As far as the Bible goes, there is some pretty extreme context that neither of you know. Also, most translations are someone ELSE'S idea of what should be being said.

Just because you taught them to me, does not mean that YOUR ideas are automatically correct or that I will be adding them to my family teachings.

Getting older does NOT mean that you automatically turn into an asshole, a conservative, more religious, a better person or even necessarily smarter. It just means you got older. Every one does. What else you become is up to you.

Saying racist things is NOT funny. It is embarrassing and annoying. And you manage to alienate me, because by saying anything to you, I'll be the bad one. Also, you are teaching my brother stuff that will get his ass beat.

Credit cards are not evil.

It is possible to drink responsibly. Stop assuming that I don't know how to, just because your version of teaching me responsibility with alcohol was "LALALALALA DON'T DO IT LALALALLA".

I love my reddish hair.

If he goes into any sort of martial arts, I am giving up that babysitting job.

Buying me dieter's tea and underwear too small is NOT nice. It's an asshole thing to do. You aren't helping.

My body is great the way it is. Seriously.

The devil did not do it. I did it. You did it. Personal responsibility.

If the cops said "But he's a really nice kid," both you and the cop are missing the point. If the cops are there, YOU HAVE JUST NEGATED YOUR OWN DAMN POINT.

If he's already somewhat violent, me leaving books around will not make him MORE violent.

Stop assuming you are right about everything.

If I've told you I deeply dislike a person, why are you trying to force me to spend time with them? What does that accomplish? Especially when I specifically don't do that to you!

If you have to say "But it was just a joke!", chances are I'm not taking it like one. Get ready.

These life lessons (and others that I'm sure will be forthcoming) have been brought to you by me. Learn them, live them. I don't care if you love them or not.

Love,
Hellkitten