"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Friday, October 12, 2012

annoying, annoy, annoyed

Some days
I watch Gossip Girl
and I can't always tell
if Upper East Siders make
me feel worse, because I can't
afford their clothes or their problems
or better, because who would want that
kind of laundry bill
or those kind of problems.
Who the fuck knows.

I haven't felt inspired if
a few days.
It is deeply depressing.
I feel deeply depressed.
I feel like there is a huge mess
everywhere.
My car is fucked up and it is definitely
going to be a few hundred dollars, at the very least
and I don't really have that at all.
But it is going to have to happen
so I will have my inspection
so I can re-register my car
so I can go to court and get my
non moving violation ticket paid
or waived
or whatever it is people do with those.
I am so fucked.

So who knows where all my inspiration
has gone
maybe it needs to be washed in my laundry
or given away to goodwill
because it has been very difficult finding
it
or maybe I need to go for a walk
which would be a lot easier
if the autumn weather would stick
around for longer than a day at a time.
but it gets hot all the time
I wish it were colder
even though I hate the cold.
it would be easier to go outside
and maybe clear my head
it has been a long '
difficult
week.

And it won't be over
metaphorically or literally
for a long while,
fuck.

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