"You can't take a picture of this. It's already gone."

Saturday, September 29, 2012

my love, a love story

I fell in love with him
the day we went to Target
and sat down in starbucks
and talked over coffee
which he then told me
he didn't like.

I listened to him tell me
about his life
and slowly plucked
the hairs on his arm
an uncalculated move
and not something I remember
deciding to do
it was around that time
I fell in love
because he bought me coffee
and held my hand
and was kind.

Or maybe it was our first kiss
after the Christmas Eve mass
my arm was broken
and I wore a purple dress
that clashed with my red cast
but I felt radiant
and my parents took
a picture of us in front
of the poinsettias.
and we were both young
and thin
and happy
for that four weeks
but that first kiss
my first kiss
with a man with a beard
it was different
than any I'd had before
"kiss me now"
in a pew at the church
after mass
I felt myself start to fall.
too bad that things that fall
get broken.

and four weeks later
he came over
and told me
I love her
and I kissed her
and I'm sorry.
and he cried
and I cried
and we spent the rest of the weekend together
I cried a lot
and we watched stupid movies
and on sunday
he dropped me off at my house
for the last time
I told him not to contact me
until I contacted him
and he drove away
and I didn't go to school for two days after
because everything hurt too much

but he didn't contact me
like I asked
and I hurt
and hurt
and hurt
and hurt
but because it was my senior year
I eventually let go
and graduated
and partied
and played
and then it was june
and things changed again.

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